Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She told me I should be a condom model.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
