u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
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So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
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I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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