Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
This is my gift to your gina
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
