The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
