im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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