Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
