..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize