i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
What a dumb baby whore.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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