we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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