Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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