O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Randomize
