She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
