YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
