You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
