Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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