I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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