Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
