"it" just moved
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
