considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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