"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
well, you know. whores of a feather.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
