You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
