But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
