Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
