John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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