It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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