Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
