so that wasnt chicken after all
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
