I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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