Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
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