I got chris browned last night
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
