that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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