I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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