Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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