Plan B is the new Plan A
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
