I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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