the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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