so explain again why im purple
no
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
