Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woke up backwards on a recliner
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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