when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize