I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
