my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
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"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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