So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
