Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
