Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
