I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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