whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
