I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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