sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
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When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
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Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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