From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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