Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I pour the whiskey from now on
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
