How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
