And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize