then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
