HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
