once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
