also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
