Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
