You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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