I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize