he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
