I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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