wat bout pragnant strippers??
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
