went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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