complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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