therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
someone owes me an orgasm
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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