oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
the raccoons are back...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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