I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
